To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend to Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning... This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
- Unknown


You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

Remember:
People will forget what you said...
People will forget what you did...
But people will never forget how you made them feel....

'You Have to Learn Lessons Also >From Others Mistakes because you Will Not Get Time To Do All the Mistakes on Your Own

Friday, November 20, 2009

From medical representative to Chief Justice of a High Court...a long way... of Hon'ble Mr.Justice.Mukhopadhaya

“I started my career as a medical representative, and sold Vicks on the streets of Patna,” recalls justice Sudhansu Jyoti Mukhopadhaya, who is on his way to mark another milestone as chief justice of the Gujarat high court in a few days.
Justice Mukhopadhaya has been number two in the Madras high court hierarchy for the past 39 months, after being transferred from the Jharkhand high court in August 2006.
It was at the suggestion of justice Mukhopadhaya’s father, an IAS officer, who started practice after his retirement, that this medical representative turned to law and became an advocate in 1979. He was appointed judge of the Patna high court in 1994, and later transferred to the newly formed Jharkhand high court.
In Bihar and Jharkhand, justice Mukhopadhaya is best known for a series of judgments in the fodder scam cases against Lalu Prasad and others.
His toughest days in Tamil Nadu were the four-odd months when, as acting chief justice of the court from December to March 2009, he had to tackle high-voltage lawyers’ agitation on the Sri Lankan Tamil issue. A string of demonstrations, disruptions in court, boycotts, attacks on Janata Party president Subramanian Swamy on February 17 and then the unprecedented violence involving advocates and police on the court campus on February 19, were all seen during his tenure as acting CJ.
A full bench headed by justice Mukhopadhaya ordered the suspension of two senior IPS officers for their role in the February 19 violence. “They were the persons who were at the helm of affairs, and under whose direct supervision the operation was carried out,” the bench said.
When the violence-marred October 2006 Chennai Corporation elections were under judicial scrutiny, a bench headed by him delivered a split verdict. In this order, justice Mukhopadhaya concluded that there was a constitutional bar on courts entertaining PILs in electoral matters.
The ecologically fragile Nilgiris district would remain indebted to him for three verdicts. One, for having imposed a blanket ban on all forms of mining and quarrying operations in the hill district; Two, for banning indiscriminate construction in the Nilgiris. Three, for having attempted to save the Elephant Corridor by banning new constructions and installation of solar/electrical fencing there.
His judgment on the legal status of a child born to a couple before their marriage was also considered an important one. A bench comprising justice Mukhopadhaya and justice V Dhanapalan said: “Though the marriage is said to be irregular, children born out of such marriage would be entitled to claim the benefits of their parent.”
Putting public safety and national security ahead of revenue generation, justice Mukhopadhaya’s bench also banned display of advertisements on private and public transport buses.
Justice Mukhopadhaya’s bench also targeted the offcampus/study centres run by private universities from other states as illegal, and said, “if such centres are allowed to continue, the future of gullible students will be jeopardised.”

The hon'ble judges of Madras High Court, disclosed their assests.

In a step towards greater transparency and accountability, the Madras High Court on Friday disclosed the assets and liabilities of all its 54 judges on its website, becoming the second HC in the country to do so.

The Kerala HC was the first to declare the assets of its judges on September 30, followed by the Supreme Court that placed details in the public domain on November 2. Though the High Courts of Delhi, Bombay and Punjab & Haryana have already announced that they too would make public their assets, they have not yet implemented the decision.

Starting from Chief Justice HL Gokhale, all the judges of the Madras HC have made exhaustive declarations about their properties, agricultural land holdings, investments and bank holdings.

See the link below to see the assets details:

http://www.hcmadras.tn.nic.in/assetsofjudges.htm

Thursday, November 12, 2009

False information given under RTI Act - Fine of Rs.25,000/- is imposed.

The state information commission has imposed a fine of Rs 25,000 on a tahsildar in Vandavasi, Tiruvannamalai district, for providing incorrect information about the disbursement of old-age pension in his taluk.

As T Retna Pandian, an activist, had not got the information he sought under the Right to Information (RTI) Act, he filed an appeal before the state commission. State chief information commissioner S Ramakrishnan and information commissioner G Ramakrishnan, in their order, said, "The collector of Tiruvannamalai will levy the maximum penalty of Rs 25,000, which has become leviable on the Public Information Officer (special tahsildar), remit it in the government account and report the fact to the commission within four weeks of this order." The commission also ordered the collector to depute a senior officer to provide correct information to Pandian, general secretary of 5th Pillar India, a Chennai-based NGO.

Pandian had filed an RTI application in June 2008, seeking details about the beneficiaries of the old-age pension scheme following complaints of political interference in disbursement. "More than 20 people from Vandavasi said their old-age pensions had been stopped as they had not supported a particular candidate in the last local body election. I filed an application seeking details of disbursement of Central and state government sponsored old-age pension schemes. The tahsildar, in his reply on June 27, 2008, said 6,887 people had applied and, except in 1,000 cases where the postal department could not deliver the pension, the others were given pension regularly," Pandian said. The PIO asked Pandian to pay a fee of Rs 300 for a copy of the file. Pandian paid the money and filed an appeal seeking replies to more queries, but did not receive a reply.

Pandian approached the state commission on September 20, 2008. The commission, which held its first inquiry on February 25, 2009, ordered tahsildar M Murugesan to provide the replies. Murugesan said 7,827 people were getting pension and 1,401 applications were rejected. Since the figures contradicted those given by the PIO earlier, the petitioner once again moved the commission.

Tiruvannamalai district collector M Rajendran said, "We have decided to impose a fine on two special tahsildars and two section assistants, who provided wrong information to the commission. If there are complaints about discrepancies in disbursement of pension, we will investigate."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The assets of the Judges of SUPREME COURT of India declared.

The Hon'ble Judges of SUPREME COURT of India have declared their assets and the details are posted in the Supreme Court Website.

To verify click the following link:

http://www.supremecourtofindia.nic.in/assets.htm

The reckless mining and quarrying activities in the Nilgiris -HC lamented.

The Madras High Court has directed the state government to submit the list of 35 violators and officials, who were identified by the CB-CID as being responsible for the reckless mining and quarrying activities in the Nilgiris.

The list, along with the action, if any, taken against them shall be furnished before the court on Wednesday, ruled a division bench comprising justice SJ Mukhopadhaya and justice M Duraiswamy. The bench was passing orders on a public interest writ petition filed by advocate Elephant G Rajendran, managing trustee of In Defence of Environment and Animals (IDEA).

The petition, supported by a number of photographs, revealed a largescale plunder of natural resources in the Western Ghats. It named 14 locations where quarrying was going on unchecked for several years. He claimed that several hills were blasted with dynamites and over 5,000 truckloads of blue metal had been carted away from just four sites alone. This, inspite of the fact that a Supreme Court order in 2003 specifically banned excavation and quarrying activities in the hills.

In April 2008, a division bench of the court banned all forms of quarrying in the Nilgiris and directed the police and transport authorities to curb use of dynamite and impound heavy vehicles involved in the illegal mining operation.

In October 2008, the court lamented that it was "pathetic that so many disturbances have been caused to natural resources." It also asked the CB-CID to probe the issue.

Passing further orders on the matter on November 5, the present division bench headed by justice Mukhopadhaya said the state government should come out with a scheme putting the onus of protecting the natural resources on the officers concerned. Elaborating, it said, "for example, if illegal mining is done in a particular area, tahsildar, officer-in-charge of the jurisdictional police station and the officer who has jurisdiction over the mining area may be held responsible for not taking any action against illegal miners. They may be proceeded departmentally and if necessary, may be suspended."

It then asked the advocate-general PS Raman to furnish the list of 35 officials and others identified by the additional director-general of police, CB-CID, who probed the issue.