To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend to Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning... This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
- Unknown


You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

Remember:
People will forget what you said...
People will forget what you did...
But people will never forget how you made them feel....

'You Have to Learn Lessons Also >From Others Mistakes because you Will Not Get Time To Do All the Mistakes on Your Own

Sunday, November 8, 2009

An important judgment by Hon'ble Mr.Justice.M.M.Sundresh of Madras High Court.

Coming to the rescue of a large number of sub-inspector aspirants, who were not selected in 2007 due to mistakes in evaluation of their papers in the recruitment test, the Madras High Court has directed the authorities to consider the case of those candidates who had given correct answers to three questions.

Justice MM Sundresh, disposing of a batch of writ petitions, said the Tamil Nadu Uniformed Services Recruitment Board and other authorities must prepare a list of unselected candidates who had given correct answers, and conduct interview for them. If they come within the cut-off marks after the award of additional marks, then they should be accommodated in the available vacancies.

The exercise, which should be completed in three months, is expected to benefit about 40 candidates.

The whole case revolves around three objective type questions which had multiple-choice answers in the written test conducted on December 20, 2007, for the selection of 682 sub-inspectors of police. The board had given wrong answer key to the questions, resulting in wrong answers getting marks and correct answers being rejected during evaluation.

The present petitions were filed after a query under the Right To Information Act revealed the details. On representation, the board conceded that the mistakes had indeed been committed, but said the candidates could not be considered for selection.

Counsel for the petitioners said the wronged students should be accommodated in the force, and the board could not take advantage of its own mistake. The advocate-general, however, said the move would affect aspirants in future, and added that there was an inordinate delay in these candidates approaching the court.

Justice Sundresh, rejecting the submissions, pointed out that the candidates were alert enough to file and lose one round of litigation, before coming across the mistakes committed by the authorities. Noting that the authorities should have noticed the mistakes at the earliest and replaced unqualified candidates with the suitable ones.

Observing that fairplay, integrity and transparency would enhance public confidence in the system, the judge said they would also reduce litigation. He also noted that in future the board must verify the key answers immediately after the written examination and publish them in the website and newspapers.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Judgment on Feb 19, 2009 Madras High Court clash.

CLICK THE FOLLOWING LINKS TO READ THE JUDGMENT PASSED WITH RESPECT TO THE INCIDENT HAPPENED AT MADRAS HIGH COURT ON FEB 19, 2009.

PART-1

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dc8s42kp_34dfd8zrfr

PART-2.

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dc8s42kp_35dbhmnkcc

They are different...and role models to the nation.

The judiciary in Kerala has decided to move another step away from its colonial past by doing away with the silver maces — considered a symbol of the authority of the judges — and the mace bearers.
“It was a ‘full court’ decision taken primarily as a cost cutting measure,” Kerala high court registrar general D Sreevallabhan told TOI. An official communique said “As a part of implementation of austerity measures, the chief justice and judges have decided to dispense with the practice of carrying silver maces from November 1, 2009. The approximate cost of one silver mace is Rs 34,000 and as such, it will help to reduce the huge expenditure of the state exchequer.”
Explaining the decision, the registrar general added, “The HC also felt that the mace bearers had outlived their utility. The silver maces usually used to be carried by the bearers in traditional attire when the judges moved through the public corridors. Now the judges have their chambers attached to the court rooms and also they have spaces for moving within. So the maces and their bearers have become irrelevant,”’ he said. Though the mace bearer will cease to exist, they will be accommodated in other chores related to the court.
The move comes close on the heels of a Madras high court judge banning the use of the expressions “My Lord” and “Your Lordship” in his court room. In April 2006, the Bar Council of India had adopted a resolution calling for the dropping of these expressions which it felt were relics of the country’s colonial past. The ‘reform’ is being implemented as part of the 54th birthday of the state and the high court which also falls on November 1.
In another significant step, Chief Justice S R Bannurmath also decided to set up a “Green Bench’’ in the HC exclusively to deal with cases relating to forest, conservation of trees and other cases pertaining to the issues on bio-diversity. The Bench will hold sittings for this purpose on all Fridays, from December 4, 2009.
The judges also resolved to cut their summer vacation by three days, thereby increasing the number of sitting days to 213 in the year. “Kerala high court is the only HC in the country holding sittings for five and a half hours a day for 210 days. Thus the effective sitting of the HC will work out to 231 days in terms of working hours and with the increase in sitting days, it will come to 234 days in a year,” the communique added. The court will also sit on all Saturdays except the second Saturday of every month to hear old cases.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY DIWALI...

NOTIFICATION NO.195/2009
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It is notified that Friday, 16.10.2009 is declared as
a holiday for the Madras High Court (both in Principal Seat as
well as in Madurai Bench of Madras High Court) and in lieu
thereof Saturday, the 24th October 2009 will be a compensatory
working day.


/ By Order /

HIGH COURT, MADRAS : A.ARUMUGHA SWAMY
DATED : 13.10.2009 : REGISTRAR GENERAL

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The time has come... Lets have moral police...

Calling for a powerful "moral guardian for the society," the Madras high court has favoured stringent censor mechanism to vet television programmes that contain violence, obscenity and vulgarity.

Justice R Regupathi, quashing defamation proceedings initiated against actor Vijay in various courts of Tamil Nadu, on Thursday observed: "The most dangerous trend is, there are certain channels which exclusively air music and fashion programmes with semi-nudity and adult content, and school-going children, who have free access to remotes, get to view such channels. Their character and psychology is hardened at a tender age...and it is feared that good behaviour, human values and moral standards would be stripped away forever."

He was passing orders on the petitions filed by Vijay, producer of Sivakasi' AM Rathinam and its director Perarasu, who sought quashing of over a dozen defamation proceedings initiated by advocates in different courts. Advocates, represented by S Prabakaran, claimed the film "scornfully ridiculed" the legal profession. During the hearing, the crew apologised for the scenes and said objectionable portions had already been deleted.

Recording the apology, the judge quashed the complaints, but with an observation: "The film industry too has social and moral responsibilities... Of late, it is irritating to note that corruptive, pointless and irresponsible messages are being conveyed through movies in the name of entertainment."

Justice Regupathi lamented that most of the movies, documentaries, serials, music and dance programmes "televised ceaselessly" contained obscene, vulgar and violent scenes, besides promoting supernatural and superstitious beliefs. "In such a critical situation, clear and stringent censorship guidelines for TV programmes must be laid down," he observed.

He said: "The need of the hour is, apart from scrutiny of films, there should also be a close monitoring of television programmes so as to check lapses and to instantly initiate steps against transgressors. Such a governing body should be powerful, unbiased and mindful of its role and responsibility as a moral guardian of the society."

Noting that the media and the cinema industry derived their right to freedom of speech and expression from the Constitution, the judge said the right was subject to the reasonable restrictions set out in Article 19(2) of the Constitution to ensure that such freedom is not misused.

As for the role of the Censor board, Justice Regupathi said, "the members of the board should be alive to their responsibilities and duly perform the functions for which they are holding the office." Regular offenders, guilty of promoting ill-will and hatred among different sections of the society, obscenity and malice towards persons practising other professions, should be legally proceeded against, the judge said.

Calling for more teeth to the existing laws, Justice Regupathi also said: "It is expected that the government of India may take suitable steps to device effective legal mechanism in respect of screening/broadcasting through cinema and television so as to make the certifying agency more effective."

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Suicides... where the kids going?

Holding that the Cholavaram police had acted hastily in arresting a woman teacher on the charges of abetting suicide of a student, the Madras high court has ordered her immediate release on bail.

Justice T Sudanthiram, holding a vacation sitting on Friday, ordered the release of B Vijayalakshmi who was arrested by the Cholavaram police on September 18, after a class V student committed suicide moments after returning from school.

The boy, Antony, told his parents that the teacher had disallowed him from writing his quarterly examination, and had warned him that he would be sent back to class IV if he did not study well. When his mother, who is the complainant in the case, went away the boy committed self-immolation. Cholavaram police had registered a case for offences punishable under Section 306 (abetment to commit suicide) of IPC against the teacher and arrested her.

Allowing her bail plea, Justice Sudanthiram pointed out that there was no material to prima facie show that the teacher had intentionally instigated the boy to commit suicide. The ingredient to abet suicide is not made out in this case, he observed, and added that it was unfortunate to note that the investigating officer had acted hastily and arrested the teacher, who was a widow.

Noting that the court understood the pain and agony of the boy's parents, the judge pointed out that the boy had written two pages during his quarterly examination, disproving the claim that the teacher had disallowed him from writing the examination.

The judge then granted bail to the teacher, and allowed her to execute a personal warrant for Rs 25,000 to the satisfaction of the Puzhal Central Prison authorities. She shall appear before the Cholavaram police as and when required for inquiry.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

''Stop payment' of cheques also attracts punishment U/s.138 of the NI Act.

Asking your bank to stop payment on a cheque could cost you dearly. The Bombay High Court last week ruled that this could attract criminal action under the stringent provisions of the Negotiable Instruments Act (NIA), which are otherwise invoked mostly in instances where a cheque bounces due to insufficient funds.
Citing several Supreme Court orders, Justice SA Bobde said that if stop payment orders on cheques were kept out of the purview of criminal law, it would “shake the confidence that a cheque is otherwise intended to inspire regarding payment being available on due date”. He also ob-served that if one was not allowed to take action against people who first issue a cheque and then give a stop payment order to the bank, it would “provide a handle” to those trying to avoid paying up.
The HC was hearing the case of Rukmini Shendge, whose plea was that the criminal proceedings against her in the trial court be stopped. Shendge had issued a cheque in March 2006 to the complainant, Shriniwas Burudkar, and then asked her bank to stop payment on it. She was subsequently booked under Section 138 of the NIA.
Shendge’s lawyer argued that the stringent provisions of NIA were at-tracted only in cases where a cheque was dishonoured by a bank due to insufficiency of funds. Burudkar’s grouse, he said, was not that the cheque had been dishonoured because of insufficiency of funds, but the fact that Shendge had issued a stop payment order.
However, the judge quoted extensively from earlier judgments to rule that there was “no merit” in Shendge’s contention. He also spoke of the reality of the commercial world, where post-dated cheques were ac-cepted in good faith and services rendered in lieu of them. Holding that the criminal complaint against Shendge under the NIA would continue to be heard by the trial court, he ordered that the matter be disposed of within three months.
Cheque Mate
A In 2008, there were 3.8 million cheque bounce cases pending in various courts across the country
There are 5.7 lakh cheque bounce cases pending in Maharashtra
Conviction under Section 138 of the Negotiable Instruments Act carries a jail term of up to one year and a fine equivalent to twice the amount of cheque
Cases can be tried in a summary trial, but often take several years to be disposed of if the magistrate holds a regular trial